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If we can learn to love, why wouldn’t we learn to release those feeling? Not simply drop all of the moments we’ve shared nor the depth of friendship we had. It’s too precious and yummy.

Only sumtimes being in love is not just as simple as spelling those four letters.

The moment we thought that we had it all, believe me we’re not.

Maybe we should have a lot of short-term relationships instead of an exhausting-well maintained relationship.

In short term, we show affection perfectly, we’re on top of our lusty moments, there’s a bunch of butterflies in our tummy, we don’t have patience to wait for the next date, so we talked on the phone like it was our earring. The moment we’re together hell-yeah we’ve treated like princess. We’re the prettiest, and we thought the same about ‘em. Then, the sparks gone, let’s make a dramatic goodbye…. Tears-yell-tears-hug-last kisses-get loss!!!

Then, let’s start sumthin’ new we’re not the hunch-back of Notre Dame (Well, even He got a gal), wear that tease-ey dress with sum smooth and soft-to-touch lingy , put on the mascara and use those high heels then go and get ‘em!. Anyway, without all of that war equipment we’ll still find the way, more often it came in an oddest way rite? And there we go again…

I don’t wanna talk about the exhausting-well maintained relationship.  I dreamed about it all the times but still can’t find the way to keep it going….

Well, I’m not intentionally short-termed it, it’s just that it’s a game for two, remember? When you’ve done a job for two, o-oh this is not it.

God I really hate the moment we realize those ‘this-is-not-it’ feeling. I don’t wanna say anything about the one, everyone can be the one… really it’s only takes compromise.

The problem is I don’t want a compromise-able lust, affection, trust, and needs.

No….

Okay…. Maybe I just a bit angry rite now, maybe I just exhausted of hearing Alin’s story this morning. She’s IM’ed me about the D-guy. Gee Alin, just let it go girl… I’m not saying let him go because such a *$#&*(()@~&**% oh, nothing just ignore me… I’ve showed several signs of madness lately, so it’s not objective hahahhahaha. I love you lin, and I swear I love those D-guy.

I’m  too tired to moved on.

Option A          : Think about all of the good time, and let it flow…. Just wait and see you   might surprise by the next-best-things. Just take it easy and enjoy the good ones, then simply ignore the bad ones, it’s a free country my friend, there’s nothing can make you stay if you don’t want to

Option B          : Leave it!!!! Leave it!!!! Leave it!!!!

Option C          : …. S**% I don’t know!!!!!!

Well, okay I’ll choose C. (It’s temporary! No need to worry, I’ll shortly take one of the previous options, after my next brainwash). 

To be honest…..

I can’t sleep well last nite. no… it’s not because those cat which try so hard to get into my house. Actually, I haven’t told you about the cat rite? on Sunday nite, about 2am a loud bumping sound jumped me out of the bed.

I swear, I thought it was thief. what makes me shock next is that I didn’t lock my room, well I’ve been sleep without locking my room door since a very long time. got out of the room, I checked the front door, well it’s locked and the windows are perfectly fine, then i rushed to the kitchen door it’s fine, then my eyes bumped into my mosquito filter which fell down and lying diagonally at my stove. Bingo! so this is where the sound came from,but I’m a bit curious how can it fell? while thinking about that I heard a sad mellow purr above me, I look ahead and there he was, a little grey fur ball stucked in one of my air circulation window…. I really hate waken up by such surprising sound but I do hate pulling those cat out in the middle of darkness more.

Well, I bet he’ll find an easier way to get in next time.

and last nite, I can’t sleep again not because worrying about those little intruder. but because of the things I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

How come sumone that should be your guardian, who loves you unconditionally, who should take care of you, protect you, sumone who will stand by you no matter what, turned to be your worst enemy? be the one you always scared of, who always point the finger on you…

I don’t know how to describe it, but I believe that what I’ve done is correct no matter how disapointed it was. but sumtimes disapointed is the life itself rite? anyway, if I didn’t do it everybody will disapointed, it’s better to disapointing one person in order to make them understand to make them realize their mistakes. sumthin’ inside me said that it’s about the time to stand up and do sumthing.

God forgive me, I just wanna make things right. give me the power to change the things that I can and patience to accept the things I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference.

"That my Lord has forgiven me, and made me of the honoured ones"     -Yasin:27-